It is a little annoying how uninteresting these movies are. Writers are trying so hard to churn out as many of these as possible that no one cares about whether these movies should exist. It is mentally exhausting.

Colin (Julian Morris) is a prince who wants to make some decisions for himself. Dee Dee (Megan Park) is an Army veteran who isn’t sure what she wants to do next in life. The two accidentally meet while Dee Dee is delivering some pastries to the New York hotel where Colin is staying. She shows him around New York City while he helps her with a children’s Christmas show.

Why are New York accents so terrible? Why did they have to have a dinner scene where Dee Dee’s Italian-American family ask Colin if he wanted “gravy” on his pasta in order to have Dee Dee explain that “Italians call sauce gravy!”? Why is a prince from a foreign country so skilled at jazz piano? Why is Dee Dee’s cousin the only one working at her bakery and how did she make 1500 pastries all by herself?

Yeah, there’s a lot of A Royal Queens Christmas that makes no sense. I can see how it ticks all of the right boxes: a prince, a military veteran with a dog, a tight-knit family, children singing. Somehow these things don’t come together to form anything interesting. Everyone seems to float through each scene with no real purpose. It would be nice if anyone cared about anything they were doing. Even when Dee Dee gets offered a job doing something she’s supposed to like, she doesn’t seem like she actually wants it. It’s like the director told everyone that the movie’s motto is “Yeah, OK.”

I would recommend skipping this one. The number of boring movies this year is starting to drive me crazy. Give me one really great thing about a movie so I can be like “watch it for this!” I don’t think it’s asking a lot to have one good thing. Christmas shouldn’t be so dull.

P.S. It’s actually really annoying that Dee Dee’s cousin is named Zoe and everyone pronounces it Zo when it should be Zo-ey. Skip the entire movie for that reason alone.