I never watched the original Hellraiser. As a matter of fact, all I really know about the movie is the main villain is Pinhead. Until I wrote this review, I didn’t even know that wasn’t actually the character’s name. It was just something the fans called him. Interesting. Anyway, I’m simply noting that I know nothing about the original movie or its franchise. I’m going into the 2022 version a complete newbie.

There is a puzzle box where someone dies every time its configuration changes. Six years after millionaire Roland Voight (Goran Visnjic) solves the final puzzle and mysteriously disappears, recovering drug addict Riley (Odessa A’zion) and her boyfriend Trevor (Drew Starkey) steal the puzzle box from a safe in an abandoned warehouse. As Riley begins to solve the puzzle box, people begin to disappear. By the time she realizes that the box is killing people, it may be too late to do anything about it.

Maybe modern horror movies have spoiled me too much. I thought this version of Hellraiser was boring. So there are supposed to be six deaths/sacrifices to the puzzle box. We know of five deaths, two of which happen off-screen and we only hear about them, when Riley is offered the Final Prize. I sat here at my desk counting and recounting the deaths to try to figure out who I missed. My husband, who is a big horror movie fan, simply replied with “Horror movie logic.” It annoys me when a movie gives us its rules then proceeds to break them. I’m willing to believe that a group of terrifying beings require blood sacrifices in order to gift someone a messed up version of a wish. But when you break the rules you set about those blood sacrifices, you have effectively taken me out of the suspension of disbelief.

I wish I could say that the visual effects made up for the lack of stability in the plot. There are one or two pretty cool scenes and Voight’s mansion is also pretty cool. The makeup for a couple of the Cenobites was interesting but that is about it. For the most part, like every other modern movie, it is too dark to see much of anything happening. I know movie people like to blame modern televisions but I cannot believe that absolutely everyone has their televisions on the “wrong settings” that result in completely pitch black scenes. Directors and editors need to figure out what they are doing wrong and fix it. It makes me dislike your product the more I consume it.

If you are a fan of the original Hellraiser, you might get some enjoyment out of this remake. My husband didn’t think it was terrible. Personally, I didn’t like it. I would much rather watch Sissy or Lou.