In my first review of an UPtv movie, I didn’t note that UPtv seems to be on the more religious side of the “wholesome” spectrum. Religion didn’t pay a large role in the last movie but it is a little more noticeable here. As a matter of fact, while the opening credits are running over visuals of a mall, we hear a voice on a loudspeaker say “Don’t forget - Jesus is the reason for the season.” I may have rolled my eyes.

Ariel (Jillian Murray) and Mark (Dean Geyer) have somehow both purchased the same cottage. Their realtors tell them that whoever leaves the property first forfeits their right to ownership. With no way to leave, they both call their families to join them at the cottage for Christmas.

Christmas In The Pines may have the stupidest premise I have ever seen. They both paid money for this house. We see Ariel giving her realtor a cashier’s check. I can only assume Mark did the same. There is no way that the “Possession is 9/10 of the law!” would ever be legal or actually work. There are so many other ways the writers could have had them stuck in a house together. Especially since there was already snow outside. Besides, how big is this cottage that it can fit both Ariel’s family - her mom (Leigh-Allyn Baker), her dad (Jeff Rose), and her sister (Victoria Staley) - and Mark’s family - his father (Grant Goodeve) and his brother (Aaron Mees). It’s a magical house, right?

As for the actual movie, there is some Santa Claus magic but there is also a sprinkle of Christianity in there. It seems like the writers didn’t want to go quite so far as to be super religious about everything. There is a definite overtone of religion though. I’m not sure how to explain it exactly. It’s like there are a few of the “right” phrases to make it seem like it wants to go full-on preach mode.

With that said, Christmas In The Pines is not high on my list of movies to watch. It’s boring, none of the plotlines make any sense, the characters aren’t particularly likeable, and it walks too many fine lines for it to be one thing or the other. If the movie had committed to what it was about, maybe it would have been better. As it stands, I would say to stay away from this one. You’ll probably regret watching it.