This picture for A Cozy Christmas Quilt is hysterical. Ferelith Young’s arm disappears in the space between her face and Harmon Walsh’s. And I’m not sure what she’s supposed to be holding in her hands, which are at weird angles. It makes no sense. Almost like the movie itself.

Liam (Walsh) is a firefighter whose sister got engaged and wants to get married before the couple moves to Rome. Their family tradition is to get married at Christmastime so they only have a few weeks to get everything together. On top of that, it’s also tradition that the mother of the bride gift the couple a handmade Christmas quilt. Liam, not knowing how to sew, turns to Amy (Young), a fiber artist, to teach him how to make a quilt.

The most interesting thing about this movie is the sort-of rivalry between Amy and the woman that taught her how to quilt, Miriam (Jennifer Wigmore). Unfortunately, it is never expanded upon. Miriam says awful things straight to Amy’s face for absolutely no reason. They are both finalists in a competition but I don’t think that gives Miriam any reason to be terrible.

As for the rest of the movie, it’s fine. It’s the same boring stuff. Amy and Liam have very little chemistry, they spend most of their time doing non-quilting things, and they are just dull people. C’mon, Great American Family, give me something good!

Rating: The dullest Christmas quilt