Great American Family has really called us out with A Vintage Christmas. The “vintage” year they are talking about here? 1992. I graduated high school in 1994. It really takes some guts to call your core demographic old. It better be a damn good movie.

Tessa Findlay (Merritt Peterson) is the town historian of Oak Creek. Noah (Christopher Russell) is a real estate developer who is planning on tearing down the old post office to build a modern office complex. Knowing that the town is against the demolition of the landmark, Noah, with the help of Tessa, decides to grant the Christmas wishes he found in a mailbox from 1992.

So…this movie was very extremely boring. I found Tessa’s arguments about saving a dilapidated building annoying. I live in a small town with a lot of history. However, sometimes those historic buildings or landmarks aren’t taken care of and we are currently left with a building that is no longer safe to use. And, yes, people here are protesting when those landmarks are torn down but no one wants to spend the million dollars it would take to renovate it and make it safe again. This is the entire plot of A Vintage Christmas. Tessa wants to save a dangerous building simply for the memories. She even scoffs when Noah tries to offer a compromise. I hate it.

In addition, there’s nothing charming here. We don’t get to spend enough time with the townspeople to care about their childhood Christmas wishes coming true. Then there is no chemistry between Tessa and Noah. Even the secondary couple - Darla (Kate Jenkinson) and Greg (Joey Vieira) - are boring. Granted, they are more interesting than our main couple but still boring.

I wish the movie had something to keep my attention. Unfortunately, the most interesting thing I found was a movie poster in the background that had some of the crew member’s names listed. That was cute. I wish the rest of the movie was too.

Rating: Two people got good presents, the rest got junk.