Apparently, Time For Them To Come Home For Christmas is the FOURTH movie in this series! They already did Time For Me, Time For You, and Time For Us. I guess the next few years will have Time For Him and Time For Her before they run out of pronouns.

Paul (Brendan Penny) is a nurse at a hospital in Maine. Shortly before Christmas, a woman (Jessy Schram) is almost hit by a car. When she wakes up, they find that she can’t remember anything about her life. Paul, who is planning on driving to Columbia, South Carolina, to visit family, agrees to take Jane Doe with him in the hopes that her memory will return when she meets up with…someone…at the Christmas Tree lighting.

I don’t understand the appeal of Jessy Schram. She was in last year’s dud, A Nashville Christmas Carol, and she isn’t any better in this year’s Christmas movie. While she is a beautiful woman, her acting is wooden and I’m not sure she has control over her facial movements. Looking over her IMDb listing, she does have recurring roles in some big television series. That means that she does have acting talent in there somewhere. Maybe she wasn’t meant for Hallmark Christmas movies. Not everyone can achieve the right amount of cheesiness without overshooting into awfulness.

The story begins on a good note. She has amnesia and they are trying to figure out who she is. The only clue they have is a newspaper clipping about a Christmas Tree lighting ceremony with a man’s name written on the back. So she decides to just take off to South Carolina, which is about an 18-hour drive with no stops. And the police sheriff (Lochlyn Munro) lets her go? Even if she’s traveling with a nurse, it’s a terrible idea. Especially since they have no idea who she would be meeting there. Once they leave the hospital, everything falls apart.

Much like last year’s installment, this one isn’t particularly worth watching. I’ll actually reiterate my suggestion from last year: “Watch beginning and the last 30 minutes. Skip the rest.”

You know, I think Lifetime was a little jealous of Jingle All The Way so they figured they had to make their own toy-based Christmas movie. Thankfully, this doesn’t follow Jingle’s path. Instead of parents fighting to find the difficult-to-get awesome toy of the year, A Twist of Christmas has two busy parents mixing up their shopping bags and getting each other’s purchases.

On one side, we have Abby (Vanessa Lachey), a writer for a parenting magazine who lives her life following strict schedules. On the other side, we have Ryan (Brendon Zub), a lawyer who takes life as it comes. Of course, both of them are single - Abby is widowed and Ryan is divorced. As I said, they mix up their purchases but then, thanks to a whole lot of misfortunes, have to spend way more time together as planned. Which makes them fall in love. Of course.

I ended up watching this movie with my 16-year old daughter. And both of us are VERY confused. Throughout the movie, they talk about how each family spends Christmas Day. Multiple times it seems like it IS Christmas Day, only for a character to say Christmas is the next day. Maybe we missed something very important but it seems like time has no meaning here.

Another confusing part, for me anyway, is that Abby’s parents come to celebrate Christmas but are completely useless. Abby asks Ryan to babysit her son, Elliot (Christian Convery), even though her parents are RIGHT THERE. They could babysit him! There is one point in the movie where they are babysitting both Elliot and Ryan’s daughter, Jasmine (Lina Renna), but only because both Abby and Ryan decide to take a long walk to the store? It really makes no sense.

Oh heck, let’s pile the rest of the confusing things into one spot: I have no idea where this is supposed to take place. They reference some Washington DC spots but all of the trees have their leaves and it is very green outside. (Hey, Hollywood! In wintertime in the NorthEast, it is cold, trees have no leaves, and there is sometimes snow. Lush, green grass isn’t a thing in the winter months.) Then there’s a scene where all of the adults take the kids for pictures with Santa but it’s in a stadium? That has an ice rink. Where people both skate and walk in the same space. Yes, there were people ice skating right next to people walking around, looking at stuff. There was even a couple pushing a stroller on the ice. I don’t understand.

Twist isn’t nearly as bad as Love for Christmas. Not by a long shot. However, for most of the movie, Abby is a straight up bitch. She is just so MEAN. Ryan isn’t an amazing character either but I can kinda forgive him since he’s usually reacting to Abby’s terrible attitude. Even when Ryan cracks Abby’s control issues, they aren’t a good couple. I don’t understand why they end up falling in love. Especially in such a short time. At least I think it’s a short time. ARGH.

You know what would save this movie? Chrissy Teigen. I have decided that she would take Abby’s bitchiness and turn it into something charming. I don’t know how she would do it but I have confidence in you, Chrissy! You need to save Christmas!