I am nearing the end of the Christmas movies on my list and I will be very happy when this is over. I was looking forward to Christmas On The Alpaca Farm because how can you screw up a movie about alpacas, right? You make it not ab0ut alpacas.
Jess Hilliard (Kirsten Comerford) wants to create a line of sustainable high fashion. When the New York City fashion label she works for scraps her line of alpaca fleece sweaters, she quits to enter a Christmas competition with her own designs. Since the Flannery Farm, where she got her alpaca fleece previously, had to fire their entire staff when the sweater line was scrapped, Jess goes to help Andrew (Matt Wells) and his daughter, Georgia (Ai Barrett), harvest the fleece.
This movie should have been about a city girl being forced to work on an alpaca farm for some reason and she fails, at first, before falling in love with the animals and learning how to care for them and maybe she makes them silly little hats or scarves or something and, in the end, she falls in love with the alpaca man. But no, this movie had to be about fashion. They throw around the term high fashion a few times and nothing here is high fashion. Luxury, yes. High fashion, no. Those are two very different things.
I’m also annoyed that Andrew kept pulling this “You can’t blend my alpaca fleece with ANYTHING!” There are, like, 20 alpacas on his farm that we see. How much fleece does he really think they can generate? Google tells me that an average sweater uses about a pound of alpaca fleece and the average alpaca produces 5 to 10 pounds of fleece per year. Even though Jess is making some chunky sweaters, let’s be nice and say she’s only using one pound. And let’s say these alpacas are amazing at producing fleece so each one gives us 10 pounds. (Yes, I’m being super generous.) Ten pounds of fleece times twenty alpacas is 200 pounds of fleece. Each sweater takes one pound so Jess can make, at most, 200 sweaters per year with this fleece. That might be good for a starting point but there were big companies wanting to sell these sweaters. 200 sweaters per year isn’t a sustainable business plan.
Was there anything good about this movie? I guess Georgia was kinda cute. Ooh, maybe we can have a Georgia & The Alpacas movie and just forget about the adults. That could be adorable!
Rating: These sweaters were ugly and boring too