Spoilers ahead! It has almost been 2 weeks since the latest American Godzilla was released. A lot of people loved the movie. My husband, who is a huge Godzilla fan, is one of those people. I, on the other hand, thought the movie was total bullshit. Since I seem to be the only person who thinks this, I am going to put my reasons in a nice, easy to digest list. As I have already said, there will be a lot of spoilers ahead. If you don't want to be spoiled, stop reading right now.

OK?

1. Cutting away from the fights

So, this is a Godzilla movie, right? I get that the movie can't be 100% Godzilla. You need some characters that can actually speak. However, except for the final battle, none of the other battles are shown on-screen. Godzilla starts fighting with one of the creatures (stupidly called MUTO) and the director just cuts away to one of the humans.

"Godzilla's gonna fight....Godzilla's gonna fight...." *a door slides shut and we cut to the Olsen sister that isn't a twin*

Annoying.

2. The Brian Cranston connection.

In the trailers, it looked like Brian Cranston, who is currently a hot commodity in Hollywood, would be the human star of the movie. Nope. He dies in the first act, before any of the monsters are actually shown. (Well, I think we might have seen a foot of the MUTO...that doesn't count.)

I get that his name is hot right now. There are people that went to see this movie for him. Won't they be disappointed when he dies a third of the way into the 2-hour film.

3. The "bad" monsters should have real names.

Godzilla gets a name. There's a Mothra cameo. Yet the two big bad monsters of the movie are both called MUTO, which stands for Massive Unidentified Terrestrial Organism. What? Give Ken Watanabe a use. Let him give those baddies some names.

4. They made Ken Watanabe useless.

His entire purpose in this movie was to stand around and watch other people do things. He is supposed to be a scientist. What scientist just stands by and lets everyone else do the work? Even the Japanese scientists in the old Godzilla movies were all "Screw this! I'm going to help Godzilla myself!"

5. Kick-Ass specialized in everything.

Brian Cranston's son, Kick-Ass, is an explosives specialist in the Navy. Yet he manages to get himself hitched onto an Army Special Force team, which gets him from Hawaii to California. Then he talks his way onto a Navy squad that is setting up an explosive to kill the MUTO. Then he parachutes into the scene of the Godzilla battle to disarm the explosive the MUTO stole from them.

Something tells me that his ass would still be stuck on Hawaii. The military isn't in the business of giving people, even other military people, rides home.

This movie was bullshit. For serious. I won't say it wasn't any fun. The end of that big battle was awesome. But I'm not going to fool myself into thinking that one awesome scene from one fight scene is going to redeem the entire film. If even half of these issues were fixed, I wouldn't be so hard on the movie. If they made the Godzilla movie about Godzilla instead of about The Other Olsen and Kick-Ass, I might have liked it more. As it stands, it is just plain bullshit.